Unmetholodical Tomfoolery

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me at home: i've been wearing the same jeans and band shirt for the last three weeks but it still smells alright so i'll keep wearing it

me going away: I NEED ONE SHIRT FOR EACH DAY AND EXTRA IN CASE IT GETS DIRTY AND THE SAME AMOUNT OF JEANS AND SOCKS ACTUALLY NO I'LL NEED EXTRA SOCKS IN CASE IT FLOODS AND DOUBLE THE UNDERWEAR IN CASE OF DISASTER AND ONE NICE OUTFIT IN CASE I GET INVITED TO TEA WITH THE QUEEN

crimsoncamellianeko:

forimuchdesiretospeakwithhim:

wikatiepedia:

from now on I’m going to convey sarcasm over the internet by typing like this

oh wow look how sarcastic that looks

that actually does look really sarcastic though. this is revolutionary

DEAR GOD SOMEONE HAS INVENTED THE SARCASM FONT THIS IS A TIME FOR CELEBRATION

(via thefreshprinceofmullingar)

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remanth:

bronzedragon:

tomfelton-andthe-cumber-cocks:

strawberriesandjane:

funsizedfox:

“they won’t let me eat,wont let me sleep..”
“who?”
“…..them.”

Oh.

I AM CRYING

I remember reading about how EA was trying to sell the rights to make The Sims into a movie and everyone was like “…how?”
Now I get it
It’s a horror movie
People wake up one day to find themselves transformed into puppets of an invisible malicious trickster god
First the bizarre happenings start:
someone becomes obsessed with stealing lawn gnomes
another person has a compulsion to stick their head into a strange device and emerges obsessed by grilled cheese sandwiches
people pee themselves despite being next to a bathroom because some mysterious unseen force makes them study cleaning
people find themselves stuck in rooms because they can’t step over common household objects
a young man doing some nighttime stargazing mysteriously vanishes
then their god turns sadistic
pool ladders mysteriously vanish, leading to several drownings
doors vanish just as a house fire begins
an elevator plummets several stories as a couple starts to get it on
a Murphy Bed gruesomely folds up, crushing the people inside
and that man who vanished while stargazing returns…but with something growing inside of him…and vague memories of a grotesque creature named Pollination Technician
the horror has begun

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anothertimesforgottenspace:

worth scrolling all the way up to reblog

(Source: applepiesfromscratch, via jizzkhalifa1)

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lovemetoinfinity:

jeff42069:

whtshername:

music-travels:

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. FUCK

sigh

I’m going to delete my tumblr.

why the fuck would kids be on tumblr? don’t they have shapes to spell or something?

(Source: idgafimawesome, via just-two-crazy-people-in-love)

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Anonymous asked: I love you <3

Who are you?!

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you-told-me-think-about-it:

ohitsjustkim:

fairgroundsoldier:

01012012:

friendly reminder that after each passing day you are closer to finding your soulmate

and your grave

and eating your next pizza

this sums up all of tumblr

(via erya)

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